I have been thinking this morning about why this person's comment bothered me so much: http://lillirei.blogspot.com/2004/11/will-she-ever-be-predictable.html#comments
And I realized, I hate the idea that some might misunderstand my purpose or intent. Obviously, I've put my thoughts and feelings on the internet, and if that's not making things public, I don't know what is. So obviously, even though this blog is primarily for friends and family who are interested in my little family's lives, I've opened myself up the reaction of others to my thoughts and feelings, or at least those that I publish. I understand that is my own doing. And I am totally fine with people disagreeing with me. What I am not totally fine with is people taking advantage of my attempt at honestly expressing this experience and judging me after taking things out of the context in which I intend them. Yes, sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I wish Lilli would just take a nap already so that I could get a shower. Sometimes, as much as I love my life, it starts to feel a little monotonous. Do I feel guilty about feeling that way? Yes, sometimes. But I'm not perfect, and I don't want anyone to think I'm a perfect mother and this is just a tra la la good time. However, that doesn't mean that I'm not a good mother or that I don't love my daughter with all my heart. Or that I would ever "complain about having to spend time with her." I LOVE spending time with her. But it is HARD WORK keeping a baby entertained for many many hours and keeping her out of trouble. And so frequent breaks are nice. :)
Also, this is MY blog. And therefore I have the right to write whatever I desire. Out of respect to friends and family I try to limit the content to things relating to Lilli. But out of respect for myself, I have to write honestly and truthfully. And I don't really feel that I should have to defend my honest thoughts and feelings on MY blog. Obviously I have taken that step here, although Bob thought that I should have just ignored the whole thing, or trashed the comment entirely, which is my power as the site "administrator." But I think that we mothers are constantly being made to feel guilty for wanting a small slice of life away from our children or for not being in a perpetual state of maternal euphoria. So I felt that this was a good opportunity to rant. Plus, now I feel better.
And I realized, I hate the idea that some might misunderstand my purpose or intent. Obviously, I've put my thoughts and feelings on the internet, and if that's not making things public, I don't know what is. So obviously, even though this blog is primarily for friends and family who are interested in my little family's lives, I've opened myself up the reaction of others to my thoughts and feelings, or at least those that I publish. I understand that is my own doing. And I am totally fine with people disagreeing with me. What I am not totally fine with is people taking advantage of my attempt at honestly expressing this experience and judging me after taking things out of the context in which I intend them. Yes, sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I wish Lilli would just take a nap already so that I could get a shower. Sometimes, as much as I love my life, it starts to feel a little monotonous. Do I feel guilty about feeling that way? Yes, sometimes. But I'm not perfect, and I don't want anyone to think I'm a perfect mother and this is just a tra la la good time. However, that doesn't mean that I'm not a good mother or that I don't love my daughter with all my heart. Or that I would ever "complain about having to spend time with her." I LOVE spending time with her. But it is HARD WORK keeping a baby entertained for many many hours and keeping her out of trouble. And so frequent breaks are nice. :)
Also, this is MY blog. And therefore I have the right to write whatever I desire. Out of respect to friends and family I try to limit the content to things relating to Lilli. But out of respect for myself, I have to write honestly and truthfully. And I don't really feel that I should have to defend my honest thoughts and feelings on MY blog. Obviously I have taken that step here, although Bob thought that I should have just ignored the whole thing, or trashed the comment entirely, which is my power as the site "administrator." But I think that we mothers are constantly being made to feel guilty for wanting a small slice of life away from our children or for not being in a perpetual state of maternal euphoria. So I felt that this was a good opportunity to rant. Plus, now I feel better.
posted by mariko at 11:41 AM
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