I am NOT perfect! Gasp! Ha ha ha!

Sometimes I am a perfectionist. Sometimes I am not. When it's something that's not such a big deal, I think for the most part I am able to let go. But raising a baby is such a massive responsibility. It seems irresponsible almost NOT to be a perfectionist. Ironically, I am also aware that being too much of a perfectionist, even well intentionedly, could actually mess your kid up! So. What a seemingly irreconcilable position! I wasn't even thinking about trying to be perfect when, in an effort to be a well informed parent, I recently purchased a few books. One was on homemade baby food. One was on getting your child on a routine and other techniques in order to get them to sleep better but without letting them just cry it out. They are both very good books. However, upon reading them, I instantly went into panic mode. These books informed me that my current complacency was ill founded!! Alarmingly, there were so many things, apparently, that we have failed to do or have (gasp!) done wrong in the last ten months! Irreversible, precious ten months! Bob says, hey chill, we've done a good job, Lilli's healthy and happy. All I can think about it is, I have not been perfect! I have failed in my duty as a mother! Eek! And then I go into this totally stressed out mode where I tear around trying to rectify the situation because of course I want to make it perfect as soon as possible. So. I have been feeling a little overwhelmed the last couple of days. That's probably why I haven't written in awhile. Today I managed to take a step back and say, hey, take what is positive for you out of these books and just do it a little at a time. Changing things too fast would probably make it worse for Lilli anyway. So I've been trying to take a deep breath and relax. Lilli IS happy and healthy.

ANYWAY, I have been busy! First I had to go to the store to get all the equipment needed to make homemade baby food. Then I had to go the natural food store and buy all the ingredients. Then I had to cook all the food and puree it and freeze it and store and label it. Then I had to try to get Lilli to eat it, which was probably the hardest part. She likes her food commercially strained, apparently. THEN, I've also been trying to get her on a schedule to go to bed earlier and have a bedtime routine and all that, and it worked last night, but she has sabotaged me at every turn today. Oh well. Baby steps.

Enough of the complaining. I will end on a note of cuteness. Lilli has figured out two different methods of crawling, one for the carpet and one for the hardwood floors. On the carpet she crawls normally, but when she's on the hardwood, it's so funny, she uses the sole of her right food to get more traction. So she has her left knee and her right foot on the floor and she kind of jerkily scoots along. Hey, whatever works. She is getting a lot faster and we have to keep even closer track of her now. What a job! I can't leave her for a second! And she's doing this funny thing now where she shakes her head back and forth when she's excited. Not so much wiggling, though, which I miss. . .:(