Empathy
As I mentioned in a former post, I've been checking out some other baby blogs, not to COMPARE, but just to see and enjoy reading other people's experiences. Well, I found one at http://sj.javamama.net that I really like, partly because I enjoy her sense of humor and also partly because I totally relate to what she's going through. Her baby is like two months old or something, and I remember feeling like the feeding/not sleeping/not eating/looking schlumpy extravaganza was never going to end. Poor woman, she is right in the thick of it. Of course, I think she's also really enjoying it, but it helps to whine. Oh my goodness, it all takes me back . . .(imagine Wayne's World type doo doo doo, doo doo doo psychedelicness here).
I remember what it's like to stay at home all day with the baby and put in so much hard work and not feel like it's really appreciated how hard that job is. By society, I mean, not Bobby. Bobby was very supportive, but I don't think you can fully understand it unless you've DONE it. I remember him coming home and telling me how he's been to lunch that day and I would scream "you went OUT to lunch! that's not fair! I haven't even eaten yet today!" and be so jealous that he got to be out there in the world. I would be so resentful that the poor man took the time to eat. I don't know if I can fully express how isolating it is to sit at home all day with a baby on your breast. Yes, I was lucky to be able to do it, but I don't know that I was fully emotionally and mentally prepared for it.
And I don't think our society prepares us for the breastfeeding itself. We grow up viewing our breasts as sex objects rather than as milk producing glands. I know I've much more often seen breasts, covered or uncovered (like in movies, not real life!) in sexual situations than in mammary ones. We forget that we are mammals and that our mammaries are for feeding our babies. Then one day we find ourselves hooked up to huge automated double breast pumps, feeling like cows, and wondering how this happened. Then, we have this notion that breastfeeding is this easy thing where you sit in your rocker with your sweet little baby every four hours or so and cuddle up and that's it. HA! HA HA HA! Lilli wanted to eat, at random, like every half an hour to two hours and not much would put her off. And she wasn't always easy to get on there either.
ANYWAY, sorry for the rant. I just found myself plunged in reminiscence. Thank goodness that babies start doing things other than eating. I might have gone crazy! And now I can really appreciate the time we get to spend together feeding. And maybe I even miss it a teensy weensy little bit, her being little. . .
I remember what it's like to stay at home all day with the baby and put in so much hard work and not feel like it's really appreciated how hard that job is. By society, I mean, not Bobby. Bobby was very supportive, but I don't think you can fully understand it unless you've DONE it. I remember him coming home and telling me how he's been to lunch that day and I would scream "you went OUT to lunch! that's not fair! I haven't even eaten yet today!" and be so jealous that he got to be out there in the world. I would be so resentful that the poor man took the time to eat. I don't know if I can fully express how isolating it is to sit at home all day with a baby on your breast. Yes, I was lucky to be able to do it, but I don't know that I was fully emotionally and mentally prepared for it.
And I don't think our society prepares us for the breastfeeding itself. We grow up viewing our breasts as sex objects rather than as milk producing glands. I know I've much more often seen breasts, covered or uncovered (like in movies, not real life!) in sexual situations than in mammary ones. We forget that we are mammals and that our mammaries are for feeding our babies. Then one day we find ourselves hooked up to huge automated double breast pumps, feeling like cows, and wondering how this happened. Then, we have this notion that breastfeeding is this easy thing where you sit in your rocker with your sweet little baby every four hours or so and cuddle up and that's it. HA! HA HA HA! Lilli wanted to eat, at random, like every half an hour to two hours and not much would put her off. And she wasn't always easy to get on there either.
ANYWAY, sorry for the rant. I just found myself plunged in reminiscence. Thank goodness that babies start doing things other than eating. I might have gone crazy! And now I can really appreciate the time we get to spend together feeding. And maybe I even miss it a teensy weensy little bit, her being little. . .
posted by mariko at 1:15 PM
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