Although in danger of beating a dead horse, and I'm sure that certain members of my family find it amusing how outraged I got, I must return to the whole "comment" debacle in which someone said I should stop complaining. (By the way, no one has 'fessed up, so I am assuming it was a random person who wrote it. Either that or said person is fearing for their life. Rightly so.) Anyway, as you know, I was pretty mad. But I argued with myself, is this something to get so mad about? And so I asked family members and friends, and some thought I was justified, while others clearly thought I was losing my sanity and sense of perspective. (Being home all day will do that to you.) But then today, I read this article called "Debunking the Motherhood Myth" (http://www.heraldnet.com/stories/04/11/20/opi_goodman001.cfm), and I realized that I was mad at the person who wrote the comment but more angry at the fact that it was expressing a generalized feeling of our society. Yes, people, I was railing at society. You see, this article, through the very academic medium of Desperate Housewives, discusses how today in our society women who don't absolutely LOVE being stay at home moms or even those who don't radiate joy and happiness at every moment of their child rearing existence are deemed by society to be bad mothers. This is so totally unfair. After all, we are doing a difficult job and a service to society. Ellen Goodman puts it much more nicely than I ever could, so please read her article. I feel so vindicated. See! It's not just me! I don't think that just because we are mothers we should have to pretend like everything is perfect and happy all the time. Other people with other jobs don't have to just suck it up all the time!

OK, so onto another (semi related) topic on which to harp and rail at society. (My Aunt Linda thinks I should subtitle this blog "mommy rants" which from my last few weeks worth of posts would be appropriate. Hey, sorry for all the parentheses today.) Several people have commented to me how lucky I am that Bobby is such a great hands on type of father. I agree that this is wonderful. However. I wouldn't expect or accept anything less. And I don't think society should expect of accept anything less. By praising a dad for being "hands on" seems to me to send the message that being "hands on" is something extraordinary and special and that they are going above and beyond the call of duty. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying we shouldn't encourage and compliment fathers for the good work they do. We just shouldn't act like it's something special. I mean, how many times have you heard someone praise a mother for being "hands on?" Are you kidding? If a mother wasn't hands on she would be considered a very bad mother. On the other hand, a more distant father is just considered normal and traditional. I'm sorry, but I don't think we should consider Bob to be avant garde and progressive just for being a good father. That's his job. Yes, I'm lucky to have him and to have married him because he's a wonderful person. But I wouldn't consider Lilli lucky to have a great father. She's just getting what she deserves.