Dooce had this to say about motherhood:

"This is part of being a mother, I suppose: the constant nagging feeling of guilt and sorrow and joy and worry and unfettered elation, feelings that should not exist simultaneously but CONSTANTLY EXIST SIMULTANEOUSLY.
I have never been so alive, and yet, so on the verge of collapse."

(Read the whole entry here: http://www.dooce.com/archives/nubbin/12_20_2004.html)

Hmmmm. True. Gwyneth Paltrow said something similar on Oprah a few months ago to the effect that she didn't realize she could ever feel so guilty and happy at the same time. And I realized at the time, huh, maybe that's why I haven't left the house in months!! Bob is always trying to get me to do stuff on my own, possibly because I am always moaning to him about how I never get to do anything that normal people who need normal intellectual stimulation get to do. So then he will say, why don't you go do this or that today? And I say, but, but, I can't just leave her today! She's so cute today and she needs me today and what would you do without me, huh huh huh? I am probably secretly suspicious that she will have fun without me. Or that I'll miss something! Or that she'll want me and *gasp* I won't be there! And if I do go out, I can't really enjoy it because every moment I'm wondering what's happening or what Lilli's doing or if I should hurry up and go home. It's all so twisted and fucked up.

And I haven't even touched the guilt about what I'm feeding her or reading to her or playing with her! Oh my goodness. . .