Our adventures in (lack of) sleep
Lately I haven't been sleeping very well. First off, all that nursing and not changing positions at night has given me semi chronic neck and shoulder pain. It comes and goes, and this last week has been particularly bad. That makes it difficult for me to sleep while she's nursing. I have to wait until she's asleep and then shift (carefully) to a more comfortable position.
Secondly, she's been wanting to nurse a lot. I don't know if this is because she's been pickier about her food during the day, and so she's hungrier at night. Or, that she's figured me out and is now sentiently aware that there's an 24 hour diner open right next door and so why not use it? In any case, lately I'll wake up to her sitting up in bed and trying to get me to open up.
I do not tell you all this in order to whine (ok, not mostly). I mainly tell you this as a little background knowledge for last night's insanity. Also, fyi, my baby book says that one of the things to do for this problem is that the Mom should pretend she is sleeping while the Dad tells the baby that Boobies are Sleeping and Mom is sleeping and that Baby should sleep too. Then Dad is supposed to proceed to lull baby to sleep. However, Bob is a VERY deep sleeper. It's hard for me to be pretending I'm asleep while at the same time yelling "Bob! Wake up!" Also, when I'm around, Lilli tends to become enraged that the easy route to sleep is right there and yet she is being denied. And so. Although the Book says to use this as a last resort, we decided that last night I would sleep in the guest bed while Bob (gulp) would sleep with Lilli. Bob was afraid but bravely accepted this challenge. All started out well. She fell asleep around 8:45 and awoke around 10:30 for a quick milk feeding. Bob went to bed at 11 and I went to bed at 12, in our respective beds. I had a hard time falling asleep at first because I was feeling guilty and nervous. But finally I was lulled to sleep by the ABSOLUTE LUXURY of sleeping by oneself and moving around WHENEVER THE HELL I WANTED. Unfortunately, I was yanked from this gloriousness at around 2:30 by squawking and yelling from the back of the house. Lilli sounded MAD. She wasn't in despair but she was pretty angry at the situation. Then, miraculously, it stopped. I floated back to dreamland. Then, again. Squawking. I was feeling guilty again but then I remembered all the hundreds of time I'm soothed her myself. The noise quieted and I fell back asleep. After the third session of protests I heard heavy footsteps descend upon me. Yes. Bob was giving up. I couldn't blame him. But now she was wide awake, and apparently had been with Bob for quite some time. She actually had taken it quite well in terms of not having me there. But she couldn't fall asleep. And just has soon as Bob had thought she had drifted off he would open his eyes and see her possessed demon eyes staring widely back at him. And then she would cry.
SO. I went back to the "family bed" and nursed for a bit, but I REALLY want her to learn how to fall asleep without nursing. So after awhile I put the boobie away and tried to sing her to sleep. She talked to herself and played with her hands and actually ALMOST fell asleep, but after one and a half hours of this I caved. I'm sorry to say it but I gave her the boobie back, and we both breathed a sigh of relief and went to sleep.
She was SO CLOSE. We are thinking of trying this again tonight, but who knows if any of us can take it. Maybe we'll end up wearing her down, if we don't wear out first.
Secondly, she's been wanting to nurse a lot. I don't know if this is because she's been pickier about her food during the day, and so she's hungrier at night. Or, that she's figured me out and is now sentiently aware that there's an 24 hour diner open right next door and so why not use it? In any case, lately I'll wake up to her sitting up in bed and trying to get me to open up.
I do not tell you all this in order to whine (ok, not mostly). I mainly tell you this as a little background knowledge for last night's insanity. Also, fyi, my baby book says that one of the things to do for this problem is that the Mom should pretend she is sleeping while the Dad tells the baby that Boobies are Sleeping and Mom is sleeping and that Baby should sleep too. Then Dad is supposed to proceed to lull baby to sleep. However, Bob is a VERY deep sleeper. It's hard for me to be pretending I'm asleep while at the same time yelling "Bob! Wake up!" Also, when I'm around, Lilli tends to become enraged that the easy route to sleep is right there and yet she is being denied. And so. Although the Book says to use this as a last resort, we decided that last night I would sleep in the guest bed while Bob (gulp) would sleep with Lilli. Bob was afraid but bravely accepted this challenge. All started out well. She fell asleep around 8:45 and awoke around 10:30 for a quick milk feeding. Bob went to bed at 11 and I went to bed at 12, in our respective beds. I had a hard time falling asleep at first because I was feeling guilty and nervous. But finally I was lulled to sleep by the ABSOLUTE LUXURY of sleeping by oneself and moving around WHENEVER THE HELL I WANTED. Unfortunately, I was yanked from this gloriousness at around 2:30 by squawking and yelling from the back of the house. Lilli sounded MAD. She wasn't in despair but she was pretty angry at the situation. Then, miraculously, it stopped. I floated back to dreamland. Then, again. Squawking. I was feeling guilty again but then I remembered all the hundreds of time I'm soothed her myself. The noise quieted and I fell back asleep. After the third session of protests I heard heavy footsteps descend upon me. Yes. Bob was giving up. I couldn't blame him. But now she was wide awake, and apparently had been with Bob for quite some time. She actually had taken it quite well in terms of not having me there. But she couldn't fall asleep. And just has soon as Bob had thought she had drifted off he would open his eyes and see her possessed demon eyes staring widely back at him. And then she would cry.
SO. I went back to the "family bed" and nursed for a bit, but I REALLY want her to learn how to fall asleep without nursing. So after awhile I put the boobie away and tried to sing her to sleep. She talked to herself and played with her hands and actually ALMOST fell asleep, but after one and a half hours of this I caved. I'm sorry to say it but I gave her the boobie back, and we both breathed a sigh of relief and went to sleep.
She was SO CLOSE. We are thinking of trying this again tonight, but who knows if any of us can take it. Maybe we'll end up wearing her down, if we don't wear out first.
posted by mariko at 1:25 PM
5 Comments:
Heart wrenching consistancy is the only remedy. Too bad for your Bob. It is HIS turn. After all of your months of sleep deprivation, it's dad's turn. And YOU are the one who has to enforce it. You might get into an arguement about it. So be it. Do it again tonight. And tomorrow. Give it 5-7 nights and she will discover self-soothing. Aaah. What a wonderful, beautiful thing. She needs it as part of growth..you need it as part of peaceful bliss. All night. It makes it trickier with family sleeping, but buy the book by the author FERBER..How to Solve YOur Child's Sleep Problems. Thumbs UP.
...I agree with first comment. And no complaining if you aren't willing to remedy it.
I hate to sound like a broken record, but haven't I made it abundantly clear that I get to complain all the hell I want? On my blog?
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Let me put it this way: I realize that this might have been a terribly boring post for a lot of people. Thankfully, I'm writing this blog for those who are mostly genetically obligated to take an interest. Even those who are interested, aren't required to read my blog. Therefore, if you don't like what you read, you are, of course, free to stop reading. I just don't like people telling me what I can and cannot write about. And I think everyone will agree that I am free to write about whatever I want. This is an honest expression of what's going on in my life. You are free to disagree or have your own opinions; of course, the polite and civil thing to do if you wish to express those on *my* blog is to sign your name.
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