Mr. Rat lives. How? How? You, Mr. Rat, have eaten nearly a whole box of rat poison! Enough to kill a human being. This morning I went to do laundry and Mr. Rat had flaunted his biological aliveness in my face by desecrating my place of cleanliness. Yes, he had pooped all over my brand new DUET washer and dryer. Again. And, his dirty little paw prints were everywhere. HOW, Mr. Rat, can we convince you to leave our home? Maybe if I stop calling you Mr. Rat?