This might be my all time favorite Lilli picture. Who can resist?

Look at those chubby arms! Delicious!

This is kind of what we were trying to capture: Lilli clapping and looking excited, but apparently Schuyler wanted her facing forward so, adorable as she is, it was not good enough :(

Yay! She loves boxes and pieces of wood! So exciting!

Yes, she can be cute when she is being thoughtfully devious.

Here she is trying to figure out how to get more noise out of this piece of wood and this cardboard box.

Here is the funny mouth thing she is doing. See? Funny!

We had a photo shoot at my parents house yesterday because my brother wanted a special shot for the card he is making for her birthday. . .

She's mama's girl. . .:)

hat closeup :)

More pictures from the other night in my favorite hat. . .

Halloween fun

Lilli was, uh, a stoned teletubbie for Halloween. Well, that's what Duyen thinks she looks like in her hat. So we rolled with it. I know, we're total losers. But it seems like such a waste of money to buy her an outfit that she'd wear for like an hour and she probably wouldn't even understand why she was being forced to wear a hot, uncomfortable costume. It would be more for own enjoyment. Ane we enjoy her in the hat. PLUS, now I can use the money I would have spent on a costume on some other cute item FROM EBAY!! Woohoo!

We actually escaped the house this Halloween because I had this horrible vision of small children coming to the door and me having to hold back my raging, foaming dog (he doesn't like people in costume/uniform) and hold a baby and pass out candy all at the same time. Every ten seconds. Hmmm, not my idea of a really good time. And I would have had to do it all by myself because Bob had to work. When we got home though we discovered that Addy had devoured a whole box of Chocolate caramels that Bob's grandparents had brought me from Hawaii. We had a freak out moment but then we realized that the actual amount of chocolate in the candies probably wasn't very much as they are mostly caramel and nuts and dogs have to eat a significant amount of dark chocolate to really get sick. Why do dogs have to be so stupid though? Couldn't he just eat one? I guess it's kind of like cocaine and a drug addict. The addict's gotta know it's bad for them but they want more and more of it anyway. Well, probably not a very good analogy. Dogs are just dumb greedy dogs. And he probably doesn't even know it's bad for him. Dumb dog.

And lastly, I've noticed that a lot of baby bloggers have lamented the change in daylight savings time. I for one, am rejoicing, as it has fit right into my plan. Mua ha ha ha ha! Lilli has been waking up really late lately and not wanting to go to bed until after ten, so now we are going to be able to get her to go to bed earlier and then we can all get up at a more decent hour! Woohoo for time change! She doesn't even know we are tricking her!

Have I made note of Lilli's new open mouth thing? I don't think I have yet. I think she got it from watching me when I act excited for her benefit. I tend to open my mouth and make a surprised noise. So now when she is excited or sees something new, she thinks the thing to do is to open her mouth very wide. It's pretty funny. We took some pictures of her doing it yesterday so hopefully I will be able to post them soon.

Owies. . .

I felt so guilty last night. Poor Lilli got a splinter in her knee and I tried to get it out and just made her cry and cry. How are you supposed to explain to a baby that they need to hold still for their own good? She didn't understand. So I tried to nurse her and get it out at the same time but then she just cried and drank at the same time and still was a wiggle worm. Finally I gave up and even considered going to the doctor I was so distraught. I woke up this morning and realized how silly I was. I almost took my baby to the doctor FOR A SPLINTER.

Cute things update: Lilli got a hold of Addy's leash the other day and Addy got SO EXCITED. He thought Lilli was going to take him for a walk. HELLOOOO stupid dog, she can't even walk yet, much less take your disobedient little butt outside. Now he's trying to be nice to her. Kiss up.

DANGER!

You know, I used to always wonder why dry cleaners plastic bags, and other plastic bags, felt it was necessary to write on there that the bags shouldn't be used as toys. I mean, OBVIOUSLY, they're not toys. I mean, who would give their baby a plastic bag as a toy? Who? I'll tell you who. Me. Babies are FASCINATED by plastic bags. They keep them entertained for HOURS. I can't keep her AWAY from plastic. It is so awful. I feel like a bad mother sometimes. But really, as long as I keep an eye on her every minute and don't let her put it in her mouth, is it such a bad thing? It's just so crinkly and noisy and fun! Next I'll probably be letting her play with buckets with a couple of inches of water in there. Woohoo! Risk of drowning! Fun!

If you want to know how to fire me up. . .

. . . be two dumb people with outdated opinions who nonetheless feel it is necessary to publish their inexpert opinions and push them upon an admittedly small circulation. Normally I just ignore this column on grandparenting in our local newspaper. Sometimes I read the cute remarks from little kids and the advice is generally innocuous enough, if rather trite. But today the headline on breastfeeding caught my eye. I read:

"Dear Dee and Tom: My married granddaughter, a ravishingly beautiful 21, is obviously proud of her first child -- and her own bosom. She loves to show off both while breast-feeding in public. Do you approve? -- "Granny," Marietta, Ohio

Dear Granny: We think that both children and breasts are here to stay. They've been around for thousands of years. However, breasts have taken on all sorts of sexual connotations, in addition to their all-natural function of feeding newborns and maintaining the human race.
We have noticed with amazement how young girls on public beaches seem to compete in exhibiting as much of their breasts as possible, apparently to stimulate interest from ogling males of all ages.
We feel your granddaughter should breast-feed in public only while wearing a special blouse, now available at many clothing stores. If breast-feeding is necessary in public, it should be done discreetly -- not blatantly."

Where can I even begin with all the things that offended me?? First of all, this poor woman's own grandmother is implying that when feeding her child she is actually serving the dual purpose of feeding her child and whoring herself to the general public, and that she does the latter with great joy. Let me guarantee you, I do not know a single woman who, while just beginning to get the hang of breastfeeding, views her breasts in a sexual way. They become milking stations and very little else. How can you think of them as sexual when you have an electrical dual breastpump or YOUR CHILD attached to them? This grandmother seems to be accusing her own granddaughter of being an exhibitionist slut, just because she happens to have nice boobies! The stupid Hardies go on to reenforce this ignorant grandmother's view by proclaiming that "young girls" love to be ogled by men of all ages. This is so ageist and gross it makes me want to puke. (Do I seem a tad annoyed here?) Yeah, all young women are sluts who love it when lecherous old men cop a peek while they are sunbathing.

ALSO, this grandmother fails to take into account the fact that when you are getting the hang of breastfeeding, it might be difficult to do it discreetly. Now, this lady never says how she comes to the conclusion that this young mother is in fact showing off her breast, but I wonder if it occurred to her that it was just easier to let her breast show than be so worried about anyone catching a glimpse.

Lastly, why SHOULD we be ashamed of breastfeeding?? Whey should we be ashamed to let anyone catch even a glimpse of a very natural act? Other cultures don't have this hang up. In Japan, for example, even though the young women are in general very very modest, most mothers have no compunctions about breastfeeding openly. They know it is a natural and beautiful thing, and not at all sexual. It's this kind of attitude exactly that keeps many mothers from breastfeeding at all or for as long as is ideal. If they are forced to stay home all day with their unsightly breasts which are not fit to be in public, why wouldn't they choose the bottle? If women know that they are being judged in a sexual/moral light everytime they breastfeed in public, why wouldn't they be discouraged? Hey, why SHOULDN'T we breastfeed blatantly? What do we have to be ashamed of? We are doing what we feel is best for our children, and that is something to be proud of, whether we are proud of our actual breasts or not.

And we should NOT have to wear nursing blouses! Have you ever had to wear a great big nursing blouse with nasty flaps over your breasts? That would be enough to make me never leave the house.

This grandmother and the dumb Hardies should be applauding this mother rather than censuring her. Man, I am so mad.

Funny story

I have documented several cases of mommy brain on this site, but the following is definitely a case of daddy brain. Congratulations Bob, and welcome to the club!

This morning we were still very sleepy when Lilli woke us up just before 8 and Bob awoke in a stupor to go and change her diaper. (I feed, he changes diapers). He brought her back to bed and played with her there, which enabled us to simultaneously play with her and be in a supine position. She was enjoying looking out the window and pulling on mama's hair when she inexplicably started to get fussy. Bob squinted open his shuttered eyes and rubbed her back to reassure her when. . .he noticed that she was awfully damp. He thought she was sweaty (even though our bedroom was like sixty five degrees) and asked me to feel. Well, what I felt was her bare little tushy. That's right, while Bob had managed to take off the old diaper, he had neglected to put on a new one, and she had peed a great big pee in her pajama pants and all over our bed. I exclaimed, "Bob! You forgot to put on a diaper!" to which he replied in a very insulted tone, "No I didn't!" but the evidence was on my side. There was, indeed, no diaper. You realize that by Bob so dramatically insisting he did something when in fact he didn't, he just set himself up for losing every single disagreement we have for years. I can milk this people, for all it's worth. Mua ha ha ha ha ha!

Hey, wazzat? (that's Lilli language.)

Again, my dad has captured me perfectly. Thanks dad. But really, isn't that hat just adorable??

Here's the hat! It kind of gives her a sleepy, stoned look because it scrunches down her forehead but I think it adds to the effect.

She was pensive that evening however. Maybe she sensed I was leaving her for five whole hours.

I'm not really as bored as I look here. And I was only wearing this much makeup because I was going to this "modeling" event. Normally I wear no makeup and look like a schlump. Lilli, as you can see, looks fantastic with no makeup.

And here is a sweater I just bought her for $8. Very cute with blue leggings but I am trying to get the matching overalls on eBay as we speak. Dear Lord, does anyone besides Duyen even care? Have I reached new levels of banality??

Due to popular demand, well, um, ok, Duyen, I am showing some photos of things I bought Lilli on eBay for FANTASTIC prices. Here is a somewhat blurry picture of a dress I bought Lilli which she can hopefully wear next summer. But who knows. But it's SILK people! For sixteen dollars!!

It occurred to me that it would be nice and convenient to have a list of blogs I read on the side of my webpage. However, I am completely HTML illiterate. I signed up on BlogRoll and made a nice list but cannot for the life of me figure out where to insert the code. If anyone who knows could email me, it would be so nice of you!

Mr. Rat lives. How? How? You, Mr. Rat, have eaten nearly a whole box of rat poison! Enough to kill a human being. This morning I went to do laundry and Mr. Rat had flaunted his biological aliveness in my face by desecrating my place of cleanliness. Yes, he had pooped all over my brand new DUET washer and dryer. Again. And, his dirty little paw prints were everywhere. HOW, Mr. Rat, can we convince you to leave our home? Maybe if I stop calling you Mr. Rat?

Lilli is so cautious. I don't think she is going to be walking for awhile. We had an opportunity to compare her with the baby of some friends of ours who is three months younger. Well, this baby, Kloe, is pretty much at the same place Lilli is at when it comes to crawling and standing but she is so much more fearless! She'll stand up at a table but then she'll let go like it's no big deal and let happen whatever happens. Which is usually that she falls down. But then she gets up and tries again. Lilli on the other hand, when wanting to sit back down, will very very carefully do a squat until her butt touches the ground and then she will let go. She might sometimes to a little cruising, but she will only let go with one hand when the other hand has a firm grip on the next handhold. No, "look mom! no hands!" for my little girl. I guess this is a good thing in its own way. I don't have to deal with a walking child. And she very rarely hurts herself. And I guess she is thinking through how to not hurt herself so that's pretty smart of her. But darnit! Sometimes I wish she would just take a little risk! Live a little! Well, with the crawling thing she really thought it through until finally when she did it she was pretty decent at it so maybe one day she will surprise me with the walking and say "look mom! no hands!" Well if she actually said that, she'd REALLY surprise me.

Speaking of the crawling thing, she's really really good at it now. Which means there is no rest for the weary. She still does her funny little thing where she puts one foot on the ground for more traction, but she usually only resorts to it when she get impatient or wants an extra little boost of speed. I was reading another woman's blog and her baby does the same thing. So I guess it's not so weird. Oh, by the way, this is the same blog as the one with the clothes tips: http://chookooloonks.typepad.com/. I meant to post the link before so you could see the cute clothes but I forgot.

Did I mention we are sharing our house with a rat?!? Well, maybe we aren't anymore, if we were successful in our rat homicide.

It all started when I was cleaning the plastic bags out of the cabinet under our sink. We just kept stuffing them under there when we went to the grocery store and we couldn't use it for actual storage anymore. So I decided to clean it out. Well, I stuck my hand in those bags, and it came out covered in rat pee. So of course I called Bob to finish the job :) Those rat(s) had shredded a bunch of the bags up and made a nest and it was soaked in pee and there were tons of droppings too. It was so gross, but more than that, it creeped me out that there had been a rat living under our sink! When I was doing dishes it was less than a foot from me! Well, at the time we thought it was a mouse, and I kind of think mice are cute, but it is still kind of creepy to think of other creatures making nests in your cabinets. So we went and got humane mouse traps, because we didn't want to kill the mice. But we were unsuccessful. We assumed they didn't like our peanut butter.

Then one night I woke up in the night to this terrible scratching coming from the wall at the head of our bed. It was TWO FEET from my head and it was scratching and running around. TOTALLY DISGUSTING. Still, I thought, maybe it was a squirrel on the roof and I just imagined it was in the wall in my sleepy state. So we continued to ignore the vermin. THEN, (sorry this is kind of a long story) I found large guinea pig sized turds on our washer and dryer and footprints the size of a dime. Seriously. I could see the little nails and pads and everything. Let me just say that rats must have very dirty feet to leave tracks like that. At this point, we knew it must be a rat, and I was starting to get scared. Mice I can deal with. Mice are nothing. Rats are a whole nother story. Besides, this was clearly a gigantic rat. Then that night Bob and I were sitting in the living room and we heard what must have been a HUGE creature making noises in the wall and ceiling and THEN the hugest scrabbling noise in our vent and we realized that the rat was right on the other side of the vent. Before we could make our move he was off and we heard him running in the heating vent under out floor and then down to the basement. . .

So, we decided that this rat was too big for us to catch in a trap and carry away to a field. Can you imagine HOLDING a rat the size of a guinea pig for any distance? It was too much for me. So we succumbed to the rat poison. Well, we didn't succumb. We succumbed to buying it. Bob set it out in the basement and went down five minutes later to get some laundry and the suckers had EATEN IT ALREADY. I'm feeling kind of guilty that they thought they had hit the rat food jackpot and we had betrayed them. If it were just Bob and me, maybe I would have let the rats share our space. But with Lilli I feel like, "what if they gave her some disease?" or "what if they tried to carry her off and eat her?" They were that big.

eBay IS the devil. I was, um, just checking my summary page on eBay and it said that so far I have spent $66.06! (Which really isn't that bad for all the things I've bought, hmmm.) But $66.06! The sign of the beast! Scary!

Lilli has the cutest hat. NO, I DID NOT get it on ebay. I got it at Old Navy. But everytime I put it on her she turns into the cutest little pom pom munchkin in the world and everyone says so. I hope my dad reads this so that he will send me the pictures he took of her the other day in said hat.

I've been reading another baby blog, and, dangerously for me, this woman made a detailed list of all the baby clothing retailers she likes to patronize. Why, oh baby blogger, why? I didn't know about these places before! I was living in perfect blissful ignorance! Now I have to go check them out! Because the clothes her baby wears are darn cute! AND, she makes a point of how expensive most of these places are. I haven't even told Bob yet. He's not going to be happy.

But, the cute Old Navy pom pom hat wasn't very expensive. So there is hope in finding cuteness in less expensive clothing. Like on eBay! See how this is a vicious cycle? I am full of rationalization.

In other news, Uncle Schuyler came to visit this weekend and he designed an invitation for Lilli's first birthday party and even offered to make them. So there, Schuyler, now it's in writing and I'm going to hold you to it. Now I have to figure out the whole "where" and "what" parts. No one has given me any ideas. I need HELP here people.

We went to lunch today and my mother made the very insightful and striking observation that Lilli hadn't seemed that excited to see me the other night after I'd been gone for a few hours. I KNEW she was secretly gleeful. You should have seen the twinkle in her eye today. But seriously, just in case she DOES read this, she is probably one of the best grandmothers a mother could ask for. As she so helpfully pointed out. :)

It seemed to me that I had much to report in the progress that Lilli is making, but there are so many things and it is so overwhelming that I don't even know where to start. I guess all I can say is that she just keeps getting cuter and cuter. She is asleep right now so I can say that :) Oh, Bob and I have a new strategy if she doesn't want to go to bed. So far, she only lets me put her to bed, and if Bob even tries she gets pretty irate. So if she seems really unwilling to go to bed, we let Bob try first and then when she's mad I sweep in and she is so grateful that I'M going to put her to bed that she forgets she didn't want to in the first place. And she goes right to sleep. I'm hoping a side effect of this strategy is that eventually Bob WILL be able to put her to bed. Hallelujuah.

Lilli likes to read now! And when I say "read" I don't mean "eat books." I mean, she really likes to sit in my lap and have a book read to her! She really concentrates on the pictures and listens to the words! This is fun because up until this point she hasn't really been one to cuddle up unless she's nursing. Now she'll get all relaxed and snuggly when it's book time. Of course, she still likes to chew on the books too and of course she gets OUTRAGED when I don't let her.

Mostly when we read books she points to the people and says "baby." Most of the time she's right because we read a lot of books with babies in them. But sometimes there are other people and she thinks they are "babies" too. Like I have Ellen Degeneres' books and Lilli likes to look at the cover. She's a "baby." When Oprah comes on TV she's a baby too. So maybe baby=face? or person?

Anyway, we are also trying to plan what we are going to do for Lilli's first birthday party. We're thinking to invite our families and close friends, but it's not like we really have to provide for Lilli's entertainment. I mean, I heard someone say once that the first birthday is the last time you can buy a gift for the baby that you actually intend for yourself. They don't know the difference! But what is the norm for first birthday parties? What do people usually do? Just sit around and eat cake?

Well, I have to go. . .someone is being grumpy and probably needs a boob.

Bob and I both worked last night so we left Lilli with my parents again. I was fearful because it would be for a record five hours. But I shouldn't have worried. Again. Was TOTALLY FINE. Acted like it was no big deal when I walked in the door. My mother was (not so) secretly gleeful, just like she cackles triumphantly when Lilli clings to her and refuses to go to my dad (I can say that because my mom never reads this blog. Just kidding mom! (that's just in case she does read it for once :))). Lilli did deign to come to me once but then when my mom went to take her back like five seconds later she jumped back in my mom's arms. Of course, again the gleeful cackling from my mom. Anyway, like I've said, I guess I should be thankful! Now that we can leave her for five hours maybe Bob and I can actually go see a movie IN THE THEATER. I don't think we've seen a movie together in a theater for the whole duration of our marriage.

On a totally unrelated topic, has anyone else been having a hard time doing anything else besides watch TV? Since the fall TV season has started, I haven't seemed to be able to tear myself away. I feel terribly addicted and guilty. I spend all my non Lilli time watching Oprah, Lost and surfing eBay. What a sad existence.

Western medicine confounds me. They're like "Hey be careful pregnant and nursing women! Don't eat too much of that fish because it might have mercury in it!" But then they see my sweet little babe and then they're like "hey! I have this vial with some mercury in it! Let's inject it directly into her BLOODSTREAM! Our tests say it's OK!" I just don't get it. They know mercury is a toxic substance. That's why they warn against the fish. Why is it ok in vaccines?? I remember in high school science class when they passed the mercury around that we weren't even allowed to touch it because supposedly it could enter into us through our skin.

Anyway, we had a frustrating experience with the doctor's office today. We love our doctor, he is a family friend, but his office doesn't always seem to know what's going on. I called to see if they had pediatric flu vaccine available and if they did if it was thimerosal free or not (thimerosal is the preservative that is 50% mercury). Well, first of all they weren't sure if they even had vaccine. When it was determined that they did for young children they told me that it didn't have mercury in it, it had EGG in it. HUH? I had read that the flu vaccine is incubated with chicken eggs, but what did that have to do with the mercury? So I called again and talked to someone else and they told me that there was no mercury in it. I wanted to talk to a nurse so she called me back. We talked, and she assured me that there was no mercury in it. I packed Lilli up, drove to the clinic, and sat in the waiting room for half an hour. Finally the nurse called us back and she informed us that she and the doctor had just checked, and indeed, there was mercury in the vaccine. At that point I was just glad to get a straight and truthful answer. If they hadn't double (triple) checked for me I was going to ask to see the package anyway, because I doubted that this clinic which apparently had never heard of mercury free vaccine, would have had the foresight to order it the season before. Oh well. Now I just can't take her anywhere during the flu season.

Oh yeah, and the throwing has begun. Woohoo.

Lilli looked at me this morning and said, "Mother, soon, as you know, I will no longer be ten months. My eleven month birthday is just around the corner, and that means I will be wanting to do grown up eleven month old things." Well, at least she's not wanting to wear make up and date boys. But all of a sudden she's doing all these things that are so toddleresque rather than babyish. A new era has begun. For example, this morning rather than gaze admiringly at the sensuous curves of the telephone, occasionally taking a little nibble, as a baby would do, she pushed violently at all the buttons and delighted at the raucous beeping in her mother's sensitive ears. Rather than just look at the books on the bookshelf and maybe pull to a stand, this morning she attempted to climb the bookshelf in order to get those hard to reach volumes. And she's so independent! Rather than check with me before heading into another room, she'll just barrel ahead with hardly a look backwards.

I understand those stories now I've heard about mothers crying on their child's first birthday. My baby is growing up :(

I bet you were all wondering what happened with the toggle coat. WELL. . . you will be pleased to hear I WON! Isn't that silly to say you "won" an auction. I mean, it wasn't FREE! But anyway, I won it, and now I'm pissed that another one sold for TEN dollars cheaper. But that's how it goes I guess. You may also be pleased to hear that I "won" a lovely silk dress with cherry blossoms on it. I did not intend to actually buy it. I just thought, wow it's so cute, I'll feel better if I at least bid on it and lo and behold I guess I valued it more highly than anyone else. I have the same problem right now with a hat I liked. I thought if I bid a certain amount, someone would be sure to outbid me but no one has yet.

Anyway, as Bob will attest and as I have stated before, I am suffering a slight eBay addiction. The problem is, there ARE a bunch of good deals, and I have never been one to pass up a good deal before. However, if I were to purchase every good deal out there, well, we would be broke and Lilli would have enough clothes to see her to college. But it's so PAINFUL to pass up a good deal. Trust me, I have done it this week, and it has taken a ton of will power. I think that my new rule will be NO BROWSING. If there's something I want/need I will look for that specific item. The problem with browsing is that it is neverending. New items/great deals are always going on the market!! And I have to always be checking to make sure that I am not missing out on any good deals! So, the moral of the story is, if you are ever inclined to just browse on eBay, and you have a penchant for good deals and/or children's clothing, don't listen to that voice. It is the call of the devil! Seriously, I spend so much time on eBay now, I haven't had time to blog!

Here's my cousin Noble with his son, Noah, wearing a sweater I knit for him! This was taken three weeks ago so he has grown. . .now he is a whopping 13 pounds!

This is EXACTLY how I feel about Atticus now that there is a new baby and a little competition:

http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily/10_13_2004.html

See why I feel redundant?? Maybe I'll just link to other people's writings from now on. It definitely saves time. . .now Lilli and I can go play! OR, I can go shop Gymboree's new sale! Sixty percent off!

Getting ready to go home.

My grandma took these at her house. Like I said, she's a narcissist. Look how happy she is in front of a mirror!

Lilli is pretty much a little imitating machine. If I blow a raspberry, she blows a raspberry. If I clap my hands, she claps her hands. If I click my tongue, gosh darn it, she does it. Hey kid, if I jumped of a bridge, would you jump too?!? Just kidding. I love that she copies me! It's fun! Although I guess now we are going to have to stop swearing and "playful hitting" in front of her. Not that we are like Super Swearing/Hitting family, but now that she pretty much knows what's going on we are feeling the pressure of having to be careful. We don't want to raise a Swearing/Hitting Child.

(OK, tangent here, isn't it weird that when babies are born they don't even know what trees or tables or mommies are yet, but eventually they learn what these things are and THEN eventually can click their tongues even??)

So anyway, she is a little imitator and I've known this, but when it comes to her language I've pretty much just assumed that the majority of it is nonsense. After all, it SOUNDS like nonsense. I thought I was being pretty logical. Well, I hate to admit it, and Bob will rejoice, but I think I was wrong. I mean, I knew she was using some words, like "uh oh," but I've been noticing lately that she often uses the same sounds over and over again, to indicate consistent things. Hey, I only have a BA in Linguistics, but that kind of sounds like the definition of a word to me! So last night I was at my parents, and I was saying that whenever Lilli sees a light she points at it and says "wazzdat!" I was saying how James the other week pointed out that it sounded like "What's that?" At the time I thought that was sweet of James to think Lilli was so smart and articulate. Then it dawned at me as I talked with my parents, that's probably exactly what she is saying! She might not now exactly what "what's that?" means in English, but it must mean something in Lilli language like "look at that!" After all, everytime Lilli looks at something interesting I say to her, "What's that Lilli?" IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW. She is COPYING what I tell her, just like she should. I'm sorry Lilli, that your mama is so stupid, and that even with the benefit of an expensive although largely useless education has been discounting your brilliance all these weeks.

So, now, I've been trying to think of every sound she's ever made to see if I can decipher what she is actually saying. Maybe you can help me out:
dap! (often when pointing at something)
hazam! (when happily examining new object in hands)
bezyoom (when playing)
meh meh (when wanting something or sad)
num num num (I think when she's hungry; maybe because I say "nummy" when I feed her)
dem
ttha
bezya!

What do you think? Of course her FAVORITE word is BABY. She is such a narcissist (she loves to look at herself in the mirror too :)).

Blog obsessions

I am obsessed by other people's blogs. As I have mentioned before, I have a tendency to compare, and then despair that mine SUCKS. Bob reassures me that the people who read my blog (friends and family) don't care that other people's blogs are better. Ha ha ha. Actually, he didn't say that, but I suspect that's what he meant. What he really said is that friends and family want to read about Lilli, not other people and their children, which is probably true. Nonetheless, I feel kind of redundant in that a lot of people have written about the same things, and have done it much better than I ever could. Oh well, I will keep trekking along. But if you're curious, here are my currently two favorite blogs:

http://www.dooce.com

http://finslippy.typepad.com

Oh, and here's one that has nothing to do with babies, but we, strangely, have a lot in common. She is working on the same knitting project I just finished, she likes eggplant and candy, and her name is Mariko! Weird huh!

http://www.supereggplant.com

Enjoy the witty writing!

I think I am slowly but surely metamorphosizing into a housewife. You know what got me excited today? Contemplating cleaning the bathroom, and then, ooh ooh, maybe getting to do some ironing later. I kind of feel like I'm in one of those Old Navy commercials, you know, the ones where the people get bizarrely excited over mowing the lawn, studying history, etc. (I love those commercials.) While I appreciate enjoying my work, this kind of scares me. Is this what my life was meant to be???

Mommy brain continues. Yesterday I took Lilli to swim class and we were in a bit of a rush. I peeled her top off, and then got into my swimsuit and then rushed to the shower for a rinse. Well. I had forgotten to take off Lilli's pants! I exclaimed out loud, "my God, I've forgotten to take of her pants!" which got some weird looks. Obviously, most people remove their child's pants BEFORE getting in the shower and then probably don't declare the pants wearing situation out loud. In any case, we did manage to go for our swim but afterwards the poor girl had no dry pants. I put her socks and onesie and sweater on, and boy did she look silly. I also didn't want everyone to think I was a bad mother who had neglected to dress my child in PANTS even though she was wearing a sweater (that would be really bad) so I had to wrap her in a damp towel on the way to the car. She didn't seem to suffer any worse for the wear. Next time I will bring an extra pair of pants.

Lilli has been in an unbelievably good mood lately. I took her shopping yesterday and we went to brunch this morning in Seattle and she was a perfect ANGEL. Simultaneously, she has been pooping very well. Hmmm, coincidence? Maybe not. But anyway, it is making life so pleasant! When I took her shopping yesterday she just laughed and giggled the whole time she was in the sling, and people couldn't help but smile and laugh at her and several people stopped me to exclaim how happy she was. I was like, "yeah, I'm not sure what's going on!" Then she'd laugh and smile and wave at the people and further charm their socks off. She was like a little beauty queen pageant. Don't get me wrong, she's usually pretty content, but she was in hysterical glee yesterday. Maybe she was thinking "hurray, I got my poop out! I must spread the happy message!" Then at brunch today there was nary a whine even and Bob and I both managed to eat AT THE SAME TIME. This is a miracle.

Doggie, on the other hand, is getting to be something of a handful. I'm not sure what triggered it, but all of a sudden he has these little jealousy issues with Lilli. Maybe it was last Thursday when we had James over for dinner and we were sitting down to eat when we noticed that Addy wasn't around. That was VERY STRANGE because he rarely misses an opportunity to have a good chance at some manna from heaven, and dinner at the table is a very good opportunity. So we raced around the house trying to find him, and he was nowhere to be found. How strange! we thought. He's not like a cat who hides and we'd searched the whole house and we hadn't let him out. Finally, Bob opened the front door and all he saw were swerving headlights as a mad dog rushed across the street. Well, I'd been ignoring him telling me he had to go out (because it was raining and we're seeding the backyard) and he must have slipped out without us noticing when Bob came in and then discovered the door shut on his snout as Daddy greeted his little girl. Well, since that episode, I don't know if he was traumatized or what, but he's trying not to be Lilli's friend anymore. He's even growled at her a couple of times when she's taken his toys and he barks at her when she gets close to him while he's eating. He avoids her whenever possible and gets up and leaves when she tries to make friends. He seems to be extraordinarily nervous that she is going to get some treat that he isn't going to get. The other day I was eating a cookie and then Lilli was hitting the cookie box and he seemed to think she was going to get one of HIS precious cookies. He just whined and whined, which he almost never does. You know, he is being exactly like a jealous older sibling. I'm not really worried about it, because he is kind of treating her now like he treats dogs that he views as subordinates, and he's never really gotten in a fight on his own initiative with another dog. He's a very gentle dog, even when he's dominant, which he usually isn't being the weenie that he is. I'm OK with his being a weenie. But I've got my eye on him, weenie or not.

Home video

Bob and I watched some home video yesterday that we'd taken from Lilli's first month up to last month. It is CRAZY to see how much she's changed. I can't believe she was ever such a blob! And I distinctly remember thinking how animated she was at three months as compared to two months. And three months was nothing! NOTHING! She was barely talking and looking alert in comparison to now. We'll probably be amazed when she's two and look back at videos from now. Maybe by then though we'll wish for a little less animation.

Baby brain

I thought that I was out of it when Lilli was first born, and I thought that I was managing to pull it together pretty much these days. But then yesterday I don't know what happened. The night before I had put on a tshirt for bed, and I put it on in the dark so I accidentally put it on backwards. Well, Bob thought it was just the funniest thing for some reason, but by the time I figured it out Lilli was asleep all pressed up against me and so I couldn't change it. Well, the next day I went about my business, and even though I was slightly uncomfortable all day, I kind of ignored it. After all, being tired and wearing the same nursing bra for fourteen straight days is enough to make you uncomfortable anyway. Well, somehow I had managed to put THAT shirt on backwards too. You'd think I would have paid special attention the second time around. Thank God I didn't go out in public. Bob keeps giving me shit about it, which is bad enough.

Anyway, so that night that I was lying there with a backwards shirt I couldn't go to sleep thinking about the itchy fabric scratching my neck. So I was just thinking about how cute Lilli was and noticing how that evening when I'd come to bed she'd woken up but just smiled at me and snuggled up and gone back to sleep. Now, I've been reading my books, and most of them say that by this time, almost eleven months, Lilli should be able to sleep at least ten hours without needing a refill. This makes sense, I guess. However, most of the time when she wakes up in the night she makes this distressed na na na sound and she won't go back to sleep without the boob. I was thinking that either 1) she is actually hungry or 2) she needs the boob to go back to sleep. But I realized then that sometimes she doesn't need the boob to go back to sleep. Does that mean she is actually hungry those distressed times? I hate to deprive her if she is actually hungry. On the other hand, I could get used to just snuggling up with her to get her to back to sleep, rather than having to undo my bra flap and pull that boobie out. The sleep book I got has some suggestions for weaning them off the boob at night, but most of them require some degree of inconvenience for at least a week, which I'm not so keen on. I guess though I may be glad in the long run. . .

eBay

I am addicted to eBay. I don't know what happened. One day I was minding my business, looking on the internet for a particular coat and next thing I know I'm finding all these things that Lilli doesn't really need, but they are (at least initially) so CHEAP and I can't friggin' help myself. I've bid on another coat, also very cute of course. It sucked me in because it was only $2.99 and then someone else bid and I didn't want to lose it so I had to bid again. eek! I guess that is the nature of an auction, but. . . now I know how my dad ended up buying all those rugs on eBay.

Lilli was so good today. I'm not sure what I did to deserve it! She spent a lot of time playing by herself with her toys, especially her mirror. She just, literally, cracks herself up!! And boy can she scoot now. She is getting fast. Before I can stop her she'll be into something and I'll say "no no" and she knows what I'm saying but she just gives me a look that says "but mom!" and keeps on doing it. I can't wait until she is thirteen. But other than that she was good. :) She also spent a lot of time with me in my lap today. Some days she is a little cuddle bunny. Some days she's not. I like the cuddle bunny days. She is very cuddly after all. Got to make the most of it while I can. We read a couple of books today and she LOVES it when I make animal sounds and pretend I am a cat. Boy, that just cracks her up.

We also took her to the doctor the other day because she has a cold. Well, actually, what happened is that she must have had some mucus in her throat and she threw up a little and paranoid and overprotective parents that we are we immediately rushed her to the doctor. What we learned is that she is in absolutely perfect health besides the whole mucus thing and that she weighs almost 25 pounds now. I'm glad they took the time to squeeze us in.

I also spent another BUTTLOAD of money on clothes for her. It just never stops, partly because she never stops growing and partly because I . . .CAN'T. . .STOP. There are just so many cute clothes out there. Right now I am bidding on a gymboree coat on eBay. It is sold out at Gymboree and if I don't get, I just don't know what I'll do. Oh, the dilemmas and drama of my life. . . *sigh*.

Isn't it just SCRUMPTIOUS! This is THE coat. One might wonder who I'm actually buying this for. . . :)

I made Lilli some millet and red lentil cereal today and for dinner I mixed it with squash and yogurt. WELL, miracle of miracles, she decided she really liked this combination and after it was all gone she ate MORE cereal and MORE yogurt! Oh my goodness. This is big news in this household.

I've also been watching her play today, and noticing all the things she does. First of all, she loves to get two things, preferably of the same type, and bang them together. Sometimes this is satisfying. Sometimes this is not. When it is two hard blocks, very satisfying. And also hard to hear the TV. When it is two Cheerios, mmm, not so good. But she is figuring this out. The other thing she likes to do is get an object, preferably the phone or remote control or other object with many interesting and colorful buttons, study it from all angles, and then finally put it in her mouth. I wonder what she learns by putting it in her mouth that her hands can't tell her? The taste of yummy plastic? If the said object is too small to grasp with two hands, such as aforementioned Cheerio, she very carefully works to get it just right between her thumb and forefinger so that it is perched at the tip of her little pincer grasp, and then she slowly manoevers this towards her mouth and takes a little nibble with her front teeth before sucking on it. SOMETIMES, some other interesting object, such as a telephone, will suddenly come into her line of sight and she will promptly forget the Cheerio and all the work that went into picking it up, and drop it immediately like a hot potato.

And have I mentioned how incredibly frickin' STRONG she is getting?? The other night we were at Bob's aunt and uncle's house and they had these ball shaped three pound weights. Well, she loves round objects, especially plastic, green ones, and so she was joyfully playing with these weights. Well, to our surprise, she managed to PICK UP these weights and would have picked them both up at once if they hadn't been too big to pick up with one hand each. That frustrated her though. She wanted them both so she could bang them together! She had to resign herself to taking turns picking one up, then leaning down the taste the other one.

Lastly for tonight, she is learning the fine art of kissing. For awhile there she thought kissing meant to bite mama's lip really hard and then smile afterward, but now she's figuring out how to lean in and lightly press her lips to mine. Seriously, it makes the whole waking up in the middle of the night thing worth it. Bob is jealous because he hasn't gotten a kiss yet, he he. ;) The other thing she likes is for me to kiss any object she is playing with. For example, she'll be playing with a spoon and she'll make a gesture like she is offering it to me but if I try to take it she gets mad. If I kiss it she gets all happy and smiley like I finally figured out what she wanted me to do and that she doesn't want to share.

Oh, and I said the last paragraph was the last but I lied. Because I just have to mention how cute it is that she is waving now. She waves like crazy. At everyone. Or everything. And at herself. Everytime I walk into a room after I've been gone for like five seconds she waves. And she also waves goodbye when friends leave. And she looks so pleased with herself. In fact, she's so amazed at her new skill that midwave she will often turn her hand towards herself and wave towards herself with a look of amazement on her face like wow! I can move my fingers in the most remarkable way! I wish I could take such satisfaction out of the simplest things!

Bob's new strategem for baby entertaining is to put her in front of a mirror. She just goes CRAZY. She's liked looking at herself in the mirror for a long time, but all of a sudden one day she started started screaming at herself. It was a happy scream, and everytime she'd do it and realize her reflection was screaming back she'd cut off the scream to laugh hysterically. She will keep her occupied for HOURS (ok, minutes, but that's a long time in babyland). :)!!! Today I heard her doing her happy scream/laugh and went to check it out because I know Bob didn't have her in front of the mirror, and she was seeing her reflection in a plastic frisbee! So it's official, she is now smarter than the dog, because Addy never laughs at himself in the frisbee.

Lilli LOVES light fixtures. The only thing I can figure out, besides a moth like attraction to flame, is that she loves them because they look like boobies. I'm drawn to this logical conclusion because she especially likes the domed ones that have a dark nipple like thing in the center. What boob fetishist designed the original boob light fixture, and why do so many look like boobs? If anyone can answer that question for me, I'd be very appreciative.

In other news, poor Lilli has a cold. I feel so bad for her, being all snotty. She doesn't seem to be bothered by it, except for when she's trying to sleep or suck. It's hard to suck and breathe through your mouth at the same time! So, last night was a bad one for the both of us. I was constantly trying to settle her down. Finally, even though I'd heard the dire warnings about letting your baby sleep with a pillow, I propped her up with a very firm pillow and she seemed to sleep a lot better.